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Six Things Never to Say to an Older Colleague

With the downturn in the UK economy, workplaces are becoming more and more diverse age-wise.

With this generational gap among health care workers widening, there’s a lot of potential for misunderstanding or differing perspectives.

Though many people will absolutely deny that they have any pre-conceived notions about certain people, let’s face it, stereotypes are a reality in our culture whether we like it or not.

To ease relations between older and younger healthcare workers, ProNurse has come up with six things never to say to an older colleague and six never to say to a younger colleague.

Some of these may seem obvious, but you’ll be surprised to hear how many people have actually been asked these types of questions. So whatever you do, don’t say these 12 things!

1. “Do you know how to use email?”

Older healthcare workers always get a bad name for not being able to learn new tasks or skills. Yet there’s really no evidence to say older people are less likely to be able to learn new tricks than they are at any other time in their lives.

This question, along with any question that challenges the competence of an older worker, should definitely be avoided in the workplace. Email has been around since the ‘80s, and research also shows that older workers have been using computers in some form for the past 20 years.

2. “I didn’t know you were so old!”

This comment might come from an initially innocuous and complimentary thought, as in, “there’s no way that person is that old, she looks so young”! But saying this out loud or expressing shock at an older healthcare worker’s age might well turn out to be extremely offensive to them.

Before gasping or widening your eyes, put yourself in your colleague’s shoes and think about the intent of your statement. If you’re just trying to say your older colleague looks good for her age, just say so. “You look great for your age!” will be taken far more graciously than “I didn’t know you were so old!”

3. “So are you planning to retire soon?”

Just because a colleague has grey hair doesn’t mean they’re going to retire tomorrow. In fact, many healthcare professionals enjoy working well past the age of 60 because their work gives them a sense of purpose.

A career can be truly rewarding, helping you feel like you’ve accomplished something or made a difference in a patient’s life.

Another big consideration to keep in mind is the current economic situation. Your older colleague may not have sufficient retirement funds to allow them to retire, which would then turn this into a very awkward conversation. To stay on the safe side, don’t bring up the topic of retirement.

4. “My grandpa gave me that same advice”

Your older colleague is not your grandpa. In fact, he might not even have grandchildren, which would make this comment especially irritating and offensive.

Think of the connotations of grandparents. In popular culture, they’re depicted as old-school, not as physically capable, and suffering from some sort of dementia. This comment implies that your colleague’s advice will always be outdated and out of touch with reality.

Older healthcare workers are generally sensitive to age as a topic, so skip the grandparent talk altogether. If your colleague gives you advice you’ve heard before, just say “I’ve heard that advice before!” Just don’t specify that your grandpa gave it to you.

5. “Your are going back to university?”

Contrary to popular belief, college isn’t just for twenty-something-year-olds. With the economy in decline, more and more older healthcare workers are choosing to go back to university to get a competitive advantage.

Getting certifications, completing continuing education units, and gaining a bachelor’s or master’s degrees can set a candidate apart amidst a large pool of job applicants. And in this competitive job market, standing out is more important than ever.

So it’s not that unusual that your older colleague is continuing their education. In fact, it’s actually a really smart decision on their part. If you want to, you could even compliment them for having the great idea and initiative, and strike up a conversation about what they plan to do at university.

6. “There were some last-minute changes. Will that be too much to handle?”

People generally stereotype older healthcare workers as less adaptable and more resistant to change. They say that since older workers have seen more initiatives fail in the workplace, they’re more likely to question change, but this isn’t necessarily true.

Older workers can adapt well to change as long as they understand the reasons for it, which, of course, can be said about any worker any age. Don’t be condescending and question an older worker’s ability to be flexible. Age has very little to do with it.

How did you do? Have you said any of the above recently? No? How about the Six Things Never to Say to a Younger Colleague then?

Have your say on the topic! Which type of nurses face the most discrimination?

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